Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
fudrick 0
Frankly, that's a ridiculous argument. It doesn't matter that previous generations were discriminated against; that isn't my generation, so why should I be "punished" or put at a disadvantage for it? This generation of women was also not part of the generation you are talking about, so they should be nothing more than equal.
dollypop_fml 0
Let's get this straight. They both did something wrong. That comment was highly uncalled for, and hitting someone with a frying pan? Wow. I really can't believe it. Nobody should say that, and nobody should assault their spouse with a frying pan. As for the OP: So... You get attacked by your wife after making an offhand comment, and one of the things that comes to mind is to POST IT ON FML? ARE YOU CRAZY? This is nowhere near funny. And I'm not insinuating that you posted this immediately after being attacked, but STILL. My words are most likely wasted on this.
kbrubberduck 0
haha
screambloody 7
YDI for commanding ur wife
terriibabiiix23 0
YDI for being such an asshole to your wife -_-
EXPECT_NUTHIN 0
buddy, my mom did that. with a hot frying pan
ThatOddNieghbor 0
Ha! you totally deserve it! I'm sorry but I have no sympathy for you at all. Bump knuckles with your wife for me!
aussie827 0
slap the hoe
dont_stop_believ 0
ydi seriously u can't expect her to listen to u ah has feelings too I know
blahzz 4
If you added, 'and make me a sammich' maybe she would've smacked you and made you a sammich.