Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML
Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML
Today, I went to the Cheesecake Factory and treated myself to an appetizer, an entree, a dessert, and some cocktails. The bill was higher than I expected and I was $50 short. I faked having a food allergy and had the staff call 911 so they could take me to the hospital, so I would get out of paying. It worked. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, my family picked a place for my birthday dinner. They chose a seafood restaurant. I'm allergic. FML
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Today, I was so excited that my favorite local spot reopened, I couldn’t wait to go there for lunch. Unfortunately, my waiter’s shirt was so caked with thick smelly cat hair, it sent me into an immediate allergy attack. Not only did I not get to eat my food, the manager refused to give me a refund. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
agentx52 13
Wow, they're dumb for doing that.
trollsemen 8
What idiots.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
hairguitarhero 5
In other words, they're saying "**** you, you shouldn't have eaten here in the first place. Please don't come back." So OP, I wouldn't go back. They might resort to poison next time.
bibbster18 11
They give you yeast and you get an allergic reaction :/
trollsemen 8
Sounds like an AMAZING pun.
Snookie85 19
Hahaha. That's really messed up, but hilarious!!!
BradyT918 9
WTF. Asshole. Not their fault you wernt aware of any food allergies that you had. Besides did you ever think the basket of bread they sent you was a way of figuring out which bread you were allergic to. WTF is wrong with people these days.
Btreasure 8
Since your using FML I assume your old enough to recognize your own allergies soooo...why did you eat the bread in the first place?
zann_fml 2
My mom had shellfish her whole life. On her 40th b-day she had lobster. A week later she had it again. And landed in the hospital in anaphalatic shock. Sometimes, allergies just hit.
wozman 0
Don't worry, I would've done the same thing..................................................
rockyraccoon28 8
Bread makes you fat.
marpay 11
Overeating and not exercising makes you fat. Don't blame a food when it's the person eating it at fault.
jillianmathers12 13
25- Well then you must be eating a lot of bread!
jefffluffingham 5
its a scott pilgrim reference. scott says he could eat bread forever and ramona says 'yeah, but bread makes you fat.' well thats idiotic...
whorerhorror 6
lmfao touche
herpitydurteedur 0
And so does being a retarted bitch
FU2causeUFML 2
Yea, but if you don't eat it you become a trolling bitch.
rockyraccoon28 8
clearly no one on FML has seen Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. sad, it's a great movie.
rockyraccoon28 8
40- last time I checked, 5 foot 10 in. and 120 pounds wasn't fat.
lindseyluvszac 4
Have another violent reaction and see where that gets you.
Brooding99 15
One day, someone will slip and I will finally find out what "op" and "ydl" mean... Then I believe Pinky and the Brain will finally take over the world!!!
hairguitarhero 5
Op means "open parasite" and ydi means "you deserve incest" Now you know. Ydi
Brooding99 15
... Please remove yourself from the gene pool. Thanks!
marpay 11
Original poster and you deserve it. There you go. :)
lulututu 4
I don't understand why people don't just Google it if they don't want to ask.
fadingfaith 4
Googling it is too mainstream.
horizontalline 18
Then bing it.