Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I spent the night at a friend's house after drinking. My phone died and I didn’t charge it. My mom decided I was a missing person, and all of her friends on Facebook decided to post that I was missing. I’m a 27 year-old adult. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for four or more hours. Not even two hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
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Top comments
marshmallowmouse 0
it's...nice that they...care? XD
Tristalyn 0
So they knew enough about you for a cop to come to your door but they couldn't find your phone number to just call first?
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Comments (122)
WokeUpThisMornin 0
brilliant, but i don't believe.
jchansfan 0
Its kinda cute in a weird way... At least they worry about your safety and well being... =)
Narzhul 0
I like how a lot of people associate being online everyday for any amount of time is the equivalent of having no life at all.
dogfood_fml 3
That's not an FML. Your friends care about you.
Butcher_1419 0
at least they didn't report your car as stolen so next time you get pulled over you get yanked out of your own car at gunpoint. :-o
kravitzz1990 0
#27 thats wat someone wif no life would say!! lol
lexi_cacao 0
well said, #13.
katsoplat 0
You should be happy that your friends care about you :|
blastvortex 4
Haha. You're friends are quite amusing. Be thankful that they care. Give me a break.
LzrdPsnsSpck 0
That's really funny, I love it.