Money: Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well...

By NevertheKool - 07/05/2015 21:43 - United States - Union City

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza, and ended up falling asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 756

You deserved it 28 033

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fatto - 30/05/2017 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I got up very early to join my fit, slim, husband for a morning walk, since I work from home, order food to be delivered, and barely leave the couch. Afterwards, he biked off to work, and I went straight back to bed. With some candy. Small steps, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 2 675

By Ew - 26/05/2016 13:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 455

You deserved it 12 092

By themcdave - 19/05/2012 08:03 - United Kingdom - Cranfield

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 589

You deserved it 4 547

By latino14 - 15/06/2012 11:27 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 135

You deserved it 39 410

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 246

By Ouchie - 07/10/2016 12:51 - Ireland - Celbridge

Today, in an effort to be more active, I jumped out of bed ready for a morning jog. Or, that was the plan. Instead, I twisted my knee so badly standing up, it's now locked, and I can't move it. So much for activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 932

You deserved it 1 331

By mikki bee - 30/12/2014 17:24 - United States - Reno

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 2 526

Willpower

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 14:00

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 1 761

Naps are important

By bigdikbubls - 01/12/2020 05:58 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, I realised just how badly I procrastinate because I wanted to take a nap before going out for a friend's birthday, but I kept putting it off until I simply didn't have the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 673

pixierara 28

Friday 8 May 2015 13:05

*couch* I don't think you slept on your coach, I think he would have made you run

leafeon523 20

Friday 8 May 2015 13:04

Ydi for not having motivation and complaining about it online.

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Friday 8 May 2015 15:43

You're a brave individual: you've admitted what thousands refuse to admit xD

christmaswizard 9

Friday 8 May 2015 16:08

I've been doing this everyday for the past week. But my exams just finished, so I'm going to let that be my excuse.

Drosophila82 18

Friday 8 May 2015 17:06

You still work up early!

mustangbravo 27

Friday 8 May 2015 17:55

Epic fail!

failuretolaunch2 18

Friday 8 May 2015 18:00

So did you fall asleep on your COACH or your COUCH? Because seriously, one of them is a person.

JCal585 8

Friday 8 May 2015 18:01

Not a "FML" .. More like "****, I'm lazy"

david99021 15

Friday 8 May 2015 18:02

MERICA!

bassfisher100 23

Friday 8 May 2015 18:15

coach....?

c_wyld 21

Friday 8 May 2015 18:55

Hey that's the way to go tho...

messymessiah 11

Friday 8 May 2015 19:50

Sounds like my average day :-P I know how frustrating it can be OP.

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The Top

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 967

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 360

The Top

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 395

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 053

You deserved it 8 365

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 455

You deserved it 71 330

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 169

You deserved it 2 828

Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 641

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 301

You deserved it 3 224

Same thing different taste

Out of shape

Willpower

Naps are important

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