Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
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Top comments
saraitkddh 47
look at the bright side, you are not the one who is pregnant!
tony1891 22
out of all things to run out of. you run out of dog food. come on man.
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Comments (107)
Duriexp 20
Sounds fun
Ayuki_fml 18
Ah, it's the test of true love.
illinoiscentral 16
See the really depressing thing is, no matter how much it sucks for you, it sucks worse for her.
chlorinegreen 27
Boyfriend complains that I complain but honestly I just wish I didn't have something to complain about. Puking in public toilets, farting uncontrollably and headaches that feel like you might go blind... Yup YOUR life sucks**eye roll**
marcranger 29
Thanks, 28, for reminding me why I continue to take birth control even though my doctor said I could only get pregnant by divine intervention!
cakefete2 31
Quite frankly, YDI. No dog food OP?! You only had one job...
Bostonlapointe 6
Haha I'm going through that now.
feven 32
Well it'll be worth it eventually lol
mxgirl1998 26
it will be worth it! shell be very thankful for you taking care of her.
jagott90 4
OP, always remember that as rough as her pregnancy is going to be there's some poor schmuck out there going through the same ordeal whose wife/girlfriend isn't even pregnant. This will pass.
KingOfTheLosers 7
never keep pickles and mayonnaise simultaneously. especially without the presence of dog food anywhere near by.
mrut92 17
Good luck man your going to need it