Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, after I went in for surgery, I came out of extremely anemic from blood loss. As soon as I got home, I started my period. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I got my period for the first time in two months. I got massive gender dysphoria and contemplated jumping off a bridge. I went to something very important and upon sitting up, I let out a massive fart and started bleeding heavier. FML
Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I fainted in the lunch line at school due to extreme period cramps, and ended up having to get seven stitches on my face. This is the third time I've fainted because of my period this year. FML
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
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Top comments
Epic_Fail911 15
I like your name stitchesupmyass
kaprookie 3
Yeah well I once got scratched by a cat
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Comments (142)
TimysterGates 15
Look at the bright side, At least you don't have that bush between your legs anymore.
Sabraynay 10
Yeah... **** your life.
boner_till_icoll 0
ah ... But I would LOVE to see u **********
Savra_fml 17
ah ... But we would LOVE to see u write something less stupid for once
Adman567 9
Just look at Savra's profile picture. The story of your life
fanalee 10
Wow...
jedielf 23
Yeah my question is how did you fall out of a window so that you would land like that?
faith94m 5
o_O good lord! this is just terrifying.
clue_me_in 20
This is the funniest FML I've read in awhile. FYL.
malincake 7
How did u fall out a window? Hahaha
mrdanoob 0
She thought she had super powers and jumped
TheAftermath 0
I twitched in pain while reading this. FYL indeed.
perdix 31
You gotta avoid those bush-to-bush collisions. The plant usually wins.
leadman1989 16
You've still got child birth to look forward to. I imagine this pain will be looked back upon as QUAINT.
xAttackAttackx 25
...how the hell do you know OP is pregnant?
leadman1989 16
Pregnant or not she's still a woman who's capable of child birth... do the math.
VeganVampyre 27
That doesn't mean she is absolutely going to have kids. she could... wait for it... CHOOSE NOT TO!!!
Liiooness 0
Women aren't pregnant if they have their period. Go to class and learn some.
leadman1989 16
51 You make a valid point and I thought of that but up until she's dead or her ovaries are ripped out there's still the chance. And that's all I'm really saying. :) 60 Are you retarded? No seriously I need to know.
glittercookies 12
What leadman is trying to say is that OP might thing her ****** hurts now, but in the future if she ever gives birth to a child, the pain will be a lot worse.
leadman1989 16
Ahh a wonderful combination of cute and reading comprehension. Call me leedy. ;p Now what they could have said is maybe she already had kids in which case I say... o.o
SkardeyKat 3
I've been through childbirth, and crazy as it sounds, it didn't seem nearly as disgusting or painful as this sounds.
DjeePee 25
Bwoaf, I don't think it's that easy to compare this pain with the pain of giving birth. There are women here who almost die of pain when giving birth (you know, painful cramps for hours, a ripped perineum, the baby who doesn't want to leave, much much much loss of blood...) and there are also women who gave birth by sneezing one time. The majority of women is somewhere between those two. But having stitches and swellings on your genitals is definitely painful.
leadman1989 16
Great points ladies, I'll have to recuse myself from this conversation because I can never know. 74. I'll take your experienced word for it. 75 Bwoaf?? Lol And nice name op...
unmistakablyamaz 4
"until she's dead or her ovaries are ripped out"??? um, there's this thing called menopause that happens LONG before most women die, where they are no longer capable of having kids. and oddly enough, their ovaries are still inside them!!
cinderella10383 6
You are talking about me... Almost died 18 months ago after I had my son as I was bleeding internally and lost 5 pints of blood that was horrible... Worst experience in my entire life
cinderella10383 6
Ovaries ripped out means a hysterectomy which is becoming more of a standard procedure it seems in this country
leadman1989 16
85 - That was pretty much my sentiment (inoperable) but I went for the gore... there are plenty of ways that women can become sterile.
j_sheree6121 10
It is possible to have your period and be pregnant. It's just lighter
mrdanoob 0
You never know shit happens
DjeePee 25
'It is possible to have your period and be pregnant. It's just lighter' Stop talking shit. It's impossible to have your period and be pregnant. You can lose some blood, yeah, and some really unlucky women are pregnant, but lose the same amount of blood in the same time as when they should have there period, therefore thinking they're not pregnant.
bugmenotmofo 34
91-A hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus no ovaries.