Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML
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Top comments
amc597 28
That's messed up, I hope he was joking.
cakeandfilm 13
Look on the bright side, he could have written dead or injured... Or naked
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Comments (95)
Nvjds 12
lmao thats funny af
xomelodygervais 8
Ouch
stupidbox 9
love your dads humor
mjt123 7
LOL your father is so cool.
entis_fml 9
That's hillarious :D
imbedderdenu 23
As a parent myself I can see that being a joke for sure. I love my kids but you guys are punk asses most of the time. They drive me crazy when they're with me but I miss them as SOON as they're gone. lol Hope you didnt take it seriously op.
JhovannyA 7
Sorry about that OP. It sucks to see that. I've been there.
itzjstnx 18
what a douche.
itzjstnx 18
what a douche
glitterkuro 18
To all those people saying "oh it's funny! he was just kidding!" Even if it was a joke, this was a school assignment. Unless he wrote it in pencil and wrote something sensible afterwards to be serious, I'm guessing that's something that the OP will have to discuss in school. It's one thing making a family joke, it's another thing humiliating your kid in front of her class or teacher or whatever. That's not funny.
TogeBara 12
I plan on using public humiliation as a form of punishment. Calling my child pumpkin as I pick him up from school after he stayed out past curfew or something. One thing I want to do for a really harsh punishment is come to his school in either a tutu or really short shorts and bring him his lunch. Yep, that's what you get for sneaking out in the middle of the night when you are grounded.
glitterkuro 18
I don't know whether or not you're joking, but I went to school with lots of kids whose parents punished them in ways like that, and the end result was that they completely lost trust in their parents. Ended up having a pretty bad relationship with them.