Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Great talk, Dad
Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
No Ragrets
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML
Top comments
amc597 28
That's messed up, I hope he was joking.
cakeandfilm 13
Look on the bright side, he could have written dead or injured... Or naked
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Comments (95)
cosicosei 22
Pretty sure it was a joke, don't worry. Now we can all laugh :)
TheComedyAudio 29
What a dick. Im sorry :(
Ghost308 11
Haha now he has a sense of humor!!
lokimlin 5
lol sorry OP
mario2012 18
This is funny how?
ashleyhalla 21
It's funny if you have a sense of humor. I'm sure he didn't mean it.
mario2012 18
I do have a sense of humor. This FML wasn't supposed to be funny.
raddybear 11
You cant laugh in someones face and then say sorry. Especially if you don't know if his dad was seirouse or not because this could be really sad if he was
pwnman 33
LOL. Felt so bad laughing. FYL
krupa1017 18
Ouch, hopefully he's joking!!
dunicha 20
Grant his wish. Either he'll miss you, and apologize, or you'll have one less toxic person in your life.
BigMac64 7
Unless he's serious, your Dad is hilarious
itskaybytheway 10
I agree
xxxkassixxx 8
What is wrong with your dad :(
Ksweety_fml 27
Damm OP, you must get on his nerves.