Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

Reasons to be cheerful, pt. 4

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

Today, while on vacation, I got fired for not working a shift I wasn't scheduled for. Even after texting my boss a copy of my vacation approval letter, she still fired me. FML

Make your minds up

Today, I got fired. Yesterday was my birthday and I was told I was getting a promotion. FML