Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Most vegans I know are very arrogant and annoying.
Welshite 40
Hey, vegetables have feelings too; I've heard they grow better when sung to. This is why I subsist on a diet of water and dirt.
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Comments (132)
Jemm_fml 29
It's simple, We eat the Vegan.
ShadowPeo 11
Vegan/Vegetarian an old proverb meaning bad hunter.
AloysiusWeasley 15
You could've just left out the "douchebag" part, that's pretty much implied whenever you say "vegan."
shadokis 15
The vegans I know all try to say that they're saving that one animal by not eating a porkchop or a burger. In reality, that one pig or cow produces enough methane to do the same damage to the ozone as 3 cars, so I say, SAVE THE PLANET, EAT A COW!
love_me_electric 20
Except the reason there are so many cows on this planet is because people like to eat them. So going vegetarian is actually better for the planet than eating meat, because it reduces the demand for meat and less cows are bred.
Ki11erC 18
Generally at family dinners family members are invited. Not sure why your surprised at this even if the uncle is a loudmouthed vegan.
wtfwhyfml 12
I've known few vegans personally (advantage of living in a beef capital of the world and all), but the few I've known tend to either be sickly-looking raging douchecookies, or so quiet you would never know until the subject came up. And tend latter then to be the modified kind that eat dairy and certain fish as part of their diet, and are polite about refusal of red meats. The douchcookies need to get over themselves and take a page from the nice ones already. You don't eat meat, good for you. Enjoy that. Let me stuff half a barely cooked cow down my throat and wash it down with bacon in peace; thank you.
Moldy_Stone 6
Why'd they bother calling the cops? His vegan powers should have ended it....
neonstarr 15
You don't make friends with salad.
mfranzen 6
Vegan?? Pshh that just ain't Merican!!
pattayarick 8
He's just like one of those religious assholes, trying to shove his views down everyone's throats. I hope that he got his ass kicked in.