Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Most vegans I know are very arrogant and annoying.
Welshite 40
Hey, vegetables have feelings too; I've heard they grow better when sung to. This is why I subsist on a diet of water and dirt.
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Comments (132)
Szaszaspasz 26
You should have quoted Denis Leary by saying: "I represent the meat-eating, gun-toting ******* people." Then you should have ordered a steak with the additional instructions of: "Clip it's horns, wipe its ass and march it past the stove." There is a reason why we have canine teeth.
jessejamesc 8
what a self righteous *******. we wouldn't be here if it weren't for eating meat.
polarbearpiss 15
i hate vegans or whatever, honestly it could be my mother and I'd still be mad
Everyone_Is_Mad_fml 5
I can't stand Vegans. They bitch, complain, blah, blah, blah. Not sorry that I, or anyone else enjoys protein from meat. Humans were made to be omnivores. Eating both Veggie/Fruit and Meat.