Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
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Comments (102)
blastvortex 4
Looks like it's time to start stimulating your relaxation points then. Get crackin'.
PurpDOODE 0
I have that. Just smoke weed.
been_there 0
Been there. It sucks. A low dose of nortriptyline helps.
ohnoesnotagain 0
haha that's awesome lmao sucks to be you
gohome6513 1
how old are you, 72? hmmm???
Turnip_Girl 0
As someone who spends most of her time with her stomach anxious at the prospect of being anxious, you have my sympathy. I hope you can find a treatment for it. :(
Yooh_Plus_Meh 0
Same here. :|
Jessitca 0
I have lived with that same exact problem for the last 10 years. I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Anxiety disorder. I take Effexor XR and it helps me a lot. Look into it! Good luck!
Telionis 0
I have this same condition. Have had it for years. Every time I'm in a social situation, I get nervous that I may get the diarrhea, and being nervous... I do. It even ruined the first time I was with a girl... I have since found that colestid (colestipol hydrochloride) works really well at controlling it. As do mild anxiolytics or even SSRIs like Zoloft. Talk to a gastroenterologist, this is perfectly controllable.
thefmlman2011 37
"Gastroenterologist" you wouldn't want to say that drunk.
DameGreyWulf 1
Holy shit. That ******* sucks. I... can't even imagine. I get pretty anxious myself sometimes... I hope this never happens.
steamship 0
that happens to me sometimes, if i'm really really nervous. Judging from the comments, it seems pretty normal