Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
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Comments (102)
GreenHacker 0
Sounds like IBS to me. There are a lot of support groups available for it, and there are a few drugs you can take to help you relax at first. Your gonna be nervous all the time since you just found out about it, but soon enough you'll be able to control your anxiety without the help of meds. FYL
cuteb00ty09 0
For the person who commented about "it's all in your head" go out & learn a little .. I'm 19 years old, I have had this problem since I was 9, when I was 10 I was diagnosed w/ gallstones and had to have my gall bladder removed at 10. It did nothing & so I still battle w/ this at 19. I was very involved with my high school; I was a cheerleader, homecoming queen, softball, you name it - Keeping it from boyfriends was rough, & telling them was at the least, awkward .. I had to hide this day after day. Do some research before you try & shut down someone because of their issues. kthanks.
CFR 0
Scared shitless...Oh my goodness that's a phrase I hoped would never come to life...O.o Ummm...good luck with that...Maybe take some sort of training like...karate or tai chi, maybe it'll help you feel better? =)
Ninjaface 0
Man I love vicous cycles.
cloudvii27 0
Whoever has ibs here please try a gluten free diet. I was diagnosed with ibs awhile back. once I tried a gluten free diet I got better very quickly (give it a week or so)! please give it a shot! It's worth a try. FYI I am not celiac and it still worked for me. no one should have to suffer if there might be a good solution that could work for you too!
lunchmeat5000 0
Prescription for Librax maybe?
AnnoyingFlamingo 0
If you ever get pulled over, I recomend having a hole cut out in your drivers seat to fit a bucket that will catch the shit. I would dub it the DIARHEA SHIT CATCHER. Also get one of those things horses have under there assholes to keep there business from hitting the ground. You now have an extra good opportunity to say "the shit is gonna hit the fan. "
allenvictory 0
dude you got that from scrubs
fugthis12 0
this sucks i know how you feel though im barely 16 and i cant go anywhere far with out thing about getting nervous because of that problem
ladiesman14 0
i bet you wish you could just RUN away from the problem.