Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML
Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, date night with my boyfriend. I had my makeup done, fake lashes, etc. He was staring at me and I thought, "Oh, he loves how my eyes look" so I started flirting a lot, fluttering my lashes. We then took a pic and saw my lashes were falling, so I asked, ”Were they like that the whole night?” He replied, “Yeah, it looked weird.” FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
Look at it at the bright side! you never have to bring make-up to his house! :)
Jrefinne 7
Aww, how brave of him.
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Comments (247)
kittykaitie 0
haha queer
Emilyinroom483 7
Haha No. **** HIS life for living in a world where assholes like you have extremely narrow ideas of what people of various genders are and aren't allowed to do, say, and wear. **** his life and **** my life, dammit, for all of the people agreeing with you on here and calling him emo and queer and a fag and every other homophobic, sexist, cissexist, ****** up thing they can think of. Not **** your life, just **** you. ****. You.
Emilyinroom483 7
Why is it that people can post a slew of homophobic, transphobic, and sexist comments that don't get moderated but when I COMMENT on it my post is deleted? I stand by what I said, **** his life for living in a world where people get so worked up about him putting some pigment on his eyelashes.
Sirin_fml 47
I'll wager because of the homophobic epithets you used. Don't exaggerate; there aren't any such comments left standing.
Emilyinroom483 7
"did he ask u for a tampon and some midol too?? lol" "should of let him borrow a tampon too." "I hear she's a nice lady" ""hey, after im done with this mascara, can i borrow a tampon? oh wait, nvm, i have my own." Oh yeah, geez, there is nothing sexist, homophobic, or transphobic about any of that.
Sirin_fml 47
Good lord, if you're offended by juvenile stupidity like that, then you really need to take a break from the internet and have a cup of tea or something. Casting it as vile homophobia, transphobia, and sexism makes you look a bit desperate to be offended. There's nothing to discuss here.
Emilyinroom483 7
You really have no priorities. Yes, it's transphobic as **** to say shit like that. It's not about whether or not I'm offended, it's disrespectful and degrading to trans people.
Turbo_Kramit 0
god this generation ******* sucks. when are guys gunna be straight again
awesomeshay20 6
um...My STRAIGHT male friend wears mascara and eyeliner.
emdee_7 0
how does that work out....
Lady98K 4
Ummm...wow. You sure you wanna date him?
ZeroMachine 3
Little tip: guys who are in touch with their feminine side are better in bed.
danz123 7
Ah, the classic double standard which allows women to criticize men for wearing make-up as 'gay' 'vain' and 'insecure' yet they wear it themselves. OP, make-up isn't just for women, and if you didn't know that, I'd suggest letting the guy go so he can find someone more deserving of him and less prejudiced.
Offensive_fml 4
Haha, so true! I honestly find it hard to believe that women use make up because they want it, instead of because they're trying to find a way to hide their flaws. They seem to generalize make up, as in it's lipstick / manicure / what ever they put on, them kids these days, and that it immediately belongs to a girl because of that... well jeans belong to men, so does sports... we can go on forever.
Hope2218 11
So how'd that workout?
happy_dino 6
My Gaydar is flying of the charts!!!!!!!