Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
benjamingeiger 0
"Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat. Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat. Even Rosie O'Donnell's ball sack is meat. Okay, maybe I've gone too far. I have no idea what that is they are serving at Arby's, but you get my point." -- Steve, "The Sneeze" http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000070.php
songsparrow 0
Omfg, that's hilarious!
kira1kira 0
Who r these people?! Sweeny todd and lovette?!
SweeneyTodd_fml 0
Sweeney Todd AKA Benjamin Barker is a guy who has been wronged in the past by a corrupt judge who tore apart his family and then was sent away to Australia for 15 years. he returns to London to his barber shop on fleet street and seeks revenge on Judge Turpin While he was away, a pie maker by the name of Nellie Lovett has moved in underneath his shop (2 story building with barber shop on top) and makes Meat pies "the worst pies in London". Sweeney slits customer's throats and then sends their corpses down to Mrs Lovett's basement where she takes them and grinds them up and puts their meat in her meat pies. so she makes cannibalistic meat pies and her business gets much better. so yea....
teehee520 0
LMAO, "with mixed feelings of relief and horror". & lol @ #31
coral_loves_you 0
COUGHsweeneytoddCOUGH
diabetic_rage 0
Thank you... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Brendiux 0
OH MY GOD!! so disgusting! FYL!! so horrible but the good new is that u will earn money with the tooth fairy hahah xD
Lonely_Lez 0
It makes me so happy that many people have made the Sweeney Todd references. :) It was totally my first thought when I read this as well.
carrie84 0
Who eats a meat pie? Ydi for eating that crap.
LITTLEc0516 0
SWEENY TODD PART 2!
myfairyoshi_fml 0
#9 darn you bet me to it!!!!!!