Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
Do_The_Panic 0
Where'd you go? Mrs. Lovetts?
elizabeth713 8
I was totally going to ask that, you beat me to it!!
xxmix 0
One lady in our country found a tooth in her chocolate with hazelnuts.
Agito1935 0
Have a little priest? haahah Sweeny Todd Mutch
shananigans 0
#2: My thoughts EXACTLY. xD
dacho 7
You deserved it for eating meat :]
hahahayeahright 5
Vegetarians FTW!!:))
_srsly_fml 4
Carnivores, FTW!!
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Goddamnit, HIPPIES!!
xkaokaox 0
Lovett's Meat Pies :D
SluttyMcNugget 0
maybe it was a shiny white pebble? Or white corn? IDK....but FYL!!
swagmonkey 0
You're sure it wasn't just a bit of semi-ground bone that happened to come out vaguely tooth-shaped? Seems a lot more likely for a bit of bone to get mixed in with the meet than a tooth, and a small white piece could easily be mistaken for a tooth...
PandaSmile 24
Bone or tooth that's still way nasty :/
Destinyx 0
Excuse me, I have the sudden urge to stick my head down the toilet and empty my stomach.
k3llyb3lly 0
damn, somebody already made the sweeney todd joke.