Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
mdman_fml 0
uhhh, sweeny todd much? do people go missing much in your town?
Nai_fml 0
Dangit, #2! You beat me to it!
razzumfrazzum 0
Wow somebody actually thought the Modest Proposal was a good idea, now where'd little orphan Timmy disappear to? >:D
chucktlr 0
Ewwww.that really makes you wonder what kind of "meat" was in that "pie"
percypigs 0
*vomits*
New_York_fml 0
More proof that the Tooth Fairy is slacking on the job.
sauce_boss 0
Why would you eat something called "meat pie" anyways. That sounds ****** gross. I'm sure you bit into a whole lot more than a tooth. FYL
portable_chicken 0
meat pies arnt ****** gross. stfu. try eating one before you actually judge it u dumbfuck american.
scott_m319 0
It seems bigotry exists outside the US as well. Grow up and type intelligently before you start calling people dumbfucks. And whether it's a meat pie, a pizza, or greasy American burger, if I found a tooth in it, I would complain. That's a no-brainer, mate.
sockmonkey576 6
Umm I dont think you should judge something before you know more about it. Goes for the Portable_chicken too, Americans aren't dumbfucks...
idgaf528 6
Most Americans are dumbfucks....but then again the majority of everyone is a dumbfuck, it's human nature
awuh_man 0
well I mean, they are from ms. lovett's pie the worst pies in london and then the best when they made the pies from humans was the pie good? I hope so.
Fredzter 0
#9 lol!! But at the same time ew o.O
Clearsky18 2
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you got your money back.