Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
fireandice92 0
Did u try the priest? Cuase the trouble w/ poet is how do u kno its deceased? Lol say hi to mrs lovett!
nammz 0
dang it, all the good Sweeney Todd jokes have already been taken
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
ew but it made me laugh
flumpymoose 0
That's way more than just mildly revolting. = My mother found a dead bee in her food once. Not very appetizing. FYL indeed.
Riotous 0
Props to #23 for being awesome/smart enough to bring Jonathan Swift into this... that made my day
lol_ness 0
lol, wow... sweeny todd much?? i fricken love that movie!!
bosco_kk 0
You know,, business needs a lift, debts to be erased, think of it as trift, as a gift....if you get its drift... seems an awful waste, I mean, with the price of meat what it is...when you get it...if you get it... Good you got it, take for instance Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop. Business never better using only pussycats and toast...now a pussy is good for six or seven at the most....and I'm sure they wont compare as far as taste!! Lol yes Sweeney Todd Fan. And fyl.
songsparrow 0
What is that? It's priest, have a little priest, Is it really good? Sir, it's too good at least! Haha. Sweeney Todd.
R3nesmee 0
Oh god!!! That's like something from Sweeney Todd!!
WHATTHEBUCK 0
Haha Help me everytime I try to make an FML it says "variable author missing" HELPPP ME!?
emolilyx 0
Ew FYL. That happened to my friend with a school taco. Never eating our school lunches again.