Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 643

You deserved it 8 729

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 4 256

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 939

You deserved it 5 039

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 927

You deserved it 9 077

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 203

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 084

You deserved it 49 675

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 307

You deserved it 366

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 9 438

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

You deserved it 4 706

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 2 786

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 273

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

user19852008 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 7:25

don't hate the playa

blake4months 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 8:19

what have you been teaching that boy?

PONYGON 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 9:37

your son is genius!!!!! lol I did something similar to too my mom told me I was walking around naked asking girls to touch when I was 5

DaniBee420 6

Saturday 26 March 2011 9:42

lol! it's so much funnier that ur kids a boy. he's got it all figured out already

anahlicious 10

Saturday 26 March 2011 11:21

Ahahahahahaha that is awesome!!!

eragon2262 6

Saturday 26 March 2011 15:00

how is this an FML? ur son is gonna be makin bank when he is older haha. 5dolla foot long hahah

cupcakecutiee95 1

Saturday 26 March 2011 15:21

dude...he is bro as ****!

scrbsball 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 15:31

PIMP

Basketballin35 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 16:02

Pimp...

sculp91 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 16:36

lol smart guy

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 4 257

Today, my mom received a condolence card from my high school's alumni association for my recent passing. I'm still alive! FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 182

You deserved it 713

Today, I spent my remaining cash on a doctor's visit, only to find out that at the age of 22, I'm getting major health problems brought on by stress. I came home to relax, only to find out my roommate can't pay his rent, and needs me to cover for him so we don't get evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 2 784

Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 4 588

Today, I attempted to go on holiday but when my passport was scanned it triggered an alarm. Apparently I’m a wanted man for several crimes in Majorca. I’ve never once set foot in Majorca. You’d think my passport information would tell them that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 110

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 840

You deserved it 6 581

Same thing different taste

What up big pimps?

Oversharing

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