Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors....

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asked, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouted, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 041

You deserved it 11 806

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Same thing different taste

What a jerk!

By traumatized house keeper - 08/09/2017 13:00 - Germany - Munster

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 466

You deserved it 414

Get in there!

By Menareidiots - 24/02/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 790

You deserved it 22 682

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 292

You deserved it 831

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 106

You deserved it 3 347

By ThanksMom - 26/03/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 570

You deserved it 9 194

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 125

You deserved it 52 874

Great

By Jordan - 10/08/2018 14:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 983

You deserved it 193

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 260

You deserved it 16 587

Perfect?

By NeverGonnaGetAny - 23/02/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 772

You deserved it 24 035

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 782

You deserved it 4 921

bipolarchipmunk 0

Monday 23 March 2009 23:24

you should have said "**** you bitch, I'm right handed!"

ohhboyy 0

Monday 23 March 2009 23:25

slap him in the face with ur left hand see how he likes it

Comments

kalebb 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 22:27

first: BUUUUUUUUURNED. second: why would you tell us the only action you get is from your hand? I really hope you didn't tell them...

theoldGP 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 0:24

hahah #102 i think he has more common sense than that. don't feel bad that you're not the type that gets action.. you'll probs fall in love with a beautiful girl one day and get married then shove it in those douches' faces

kevinsoasian 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 11:58

Awwwww

youhavenoidea 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:25

haha 59 yeaah we were all dicks in hs

Dave010897 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 2:34

#1 and #4=epic lolz

DHumphrey106 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 4:49

Hey, I'm just a High School Freshman, and yeah, the upperclassmen don't let me forget it, but not all High School students are assholes. I mean, some people are just jerks, but that doesn't mean you guys have to say all of us are idiots. But yeah, I agree. That girl is a bitch, and the guy is just overcompensating.