Intimacy: Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended... - FML

By ThanksMom - 26/03/2009 18:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 506

You deserved it 9 177

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puffingdragons 0

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

Mothers deliver the sickest burns. True story.

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

tell your mom you inherited the ugly genes from her. that'll keep her quiet.

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puffingdragons 0

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

Mothers deliver the sickest burns. True story.

toxic10uhc 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:23

no they are stupid whores most of the time.

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Thursday 17 September 2015 10:26

^well, someone has mommy issues...

jackiegarcia20 6

Thursday 11 August 2016 20:20

Lol. Not my mama!

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

tell your mom you inherited the ugly genes from her. that'll keep her quiet.

podrummer9209 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:01

Ouch. Agreed to #2 and 3.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:04

Hahah ouch! Even she doesn't have confidence either. Guess you'll jus have to prove them wrong right? ;]]

my_life_sucks_17 1

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:06

lol awww 1) secure the bed 2) prove ur mom wrong ;) enjoy :) lol

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

lol... added to faves! I totally agree with #6 :)

intensegirl666 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

Hahahaa. I agree with #6...bring a girl home and tell her off.

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:12

You could not secure the bed... then just use theirs when you bring a girl home. ;D

ummmyeahhh 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:12

and every night, you're out with a different girl, all who have beds that work properly..

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

They probably meant they won't let that happen. :P

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Wednesday 15 August 2012 7:58

No they probably didn't.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, and deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me anymore. I'd give my life for him and he won't even message me back. Life really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 13

Today, I tried to make a healthy smoothie, but I accidentally added salt instead of sugar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 112

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 49

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 122