Intimacy: Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended... - FML

By ThanksMom - 26/03/2009 18:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 397

You deserved it 9 160

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puffingdragons 0

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

Mothers deliver the sickest burns. True story.

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

tell your mom you inherited the ugly genes from her. that'll keep her quiet.

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puffingdragons 0

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

Mothers deliver the sickest burns. True story.

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Sunday 24 January 2010 6:23

no they are stupid whores most of the time.

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Thursday 17 September 2015 10:26

^well, someone has mommy issues...

jackiegarcia20 6

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Thursday 11 August 2016 20:20

Lol. Not my mama!

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Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

tell your mom you inherited the ugly genes from her. that'll keep her quiet.

podrummer9209 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:01

Ouch. Agreed to #2 and 3.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:04

Hahah ouch! Even she doesn't have confidence either. Guess you'll jus have to prove them wrong right? ;]]

my_life_sucks_17 1

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:06

lol awww 1) secure the bed 2) prove ur mom wrong ;) enjoy :) lol

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

lol... added to faves! I totally agree with #6 :)

intensegirl666 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

Hahahaa. I agree with #6...bring a girl home and tell her off.

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:12

You could not secure the bed... then just use theirs when you bring a girl home. ;D

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:12

and every night, you're out with a different girl, all who have beds that work properly..

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Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

They probably meant they won't let that happen. :P

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Wednesday 15 August 2012 7:58

No they probably didn't.

Nearly

Today, I’ve tested positive for Covid-19. Again. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 7

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 31

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife and I are having marital/intimacy issues. My 72 year-old mom basically told me to touch my wife, to hug her more, caress her lovingly, and pat her bottom, etc. Thanks mom, I'll grab her ass, that'll make it all better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 161

Today, I met my wife’s father, an alcoholic who'd abandoned her, for the first time. She now has to support him financially. The guy is a piece of shit, but after we left, she fucked me more vigorously than I thought possible. I’m planning to see this turd again, just for the benefit of my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 904