Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
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Top comments
Cheeley 17
Hey, if someone kept squishing you against someone's back in the shower, I bet you'd bite them too.
Wizzlbang 10
Earwigs don't bite, OP. Even their pinchers wont leave any sort of characteristic bug bite. Sounds like you got more than Earwigs in your loofas lurking about your house.
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Comments (107)
BigMatt803 18
At least earwigs aren't poisonous. Could have been a spider on the loofa
Ultimawolf25 19
Thanks >.>...now I am pretty paranoid to shower >.
VeganVampyre 27
So happy I live in Nova Scotia, where spiders aren't poisonous either. The only poisonous animal we have is the shrew, and the odds of getting bitten by a shrew are basically zero. Also, a spider couldn't live in a loofah, it would drown. Just saying.
12random34 7
Wait... Shrews are poisonous?!?!?
BlackRogue 8
92-yes, shrews are poisonous. They'll only bite if they have no other choice though.
PhDInLife 8
Now that a poster has pointed out that earwigs don't bite/pinch, the big question is what DO you have that is nibbling away at your back?? **shudders**
xautumnwillsx 15
Next time wash your loofah everytime you use it...
Synistiel 14
You wash your loofahs after you have already basically washed it by washing yourself?
LilFlutter 10
Yes, you are supposed to wash and especially dry loofahs in a dishwasher with vinegar every two weeks to keep them clean and germ-free. You do realize they fill up with your dead skin cells and dried soap residue, right? To see what non-microscopic things are on your loofah, put it in a zip-top baggy and shake it for a minute or two, then check what is in the bag (or see what is in the bag after having it packed in your airplane checked baggage).
noelasis94 18
You're right it isn't everyday but guess what? It was today.
Altar_fml 2
What's a loofah?
skyturtle 9
It's what you scrub yourself with in the shower or bath.
jem970 19
It's a ball of net-like plastic that is way more awesome as far a suds go compared to a wash cloth.
perdix 31
#25, since Google is overwhelmed with "earwig" queries right now, you should Bing "loofah," or Ask Jeeves.
chris_a7x 11
Coulda been worse! You could have found cockroaches in your cornflakes.
LyraAlluse 25
Time to call the exterminator.
perdix 31
I'll bet your boyfriend who has fetishes for vampirism and back fat is breathing a sigh of relief. Yeah, earwigs, that's the ticket!
matthendo12 6
You might want to get a new loofah.
inthedopeshow 17
I would just like to thank OP for knowing the difference between "every day" and "everyday." Thank you so much :')