Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML
Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML
Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I went to urgent care for cloudy vision and eye pain to rule out an infection. They freaked out and pressured me into going to the ER, implying I could lose my vision. Several hours and thousands of dollars later, I just have dry eyes. I hate our healthcare system. FML
Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML
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Top comments
SeasonedLemur 5
I smoke two joints in the morning I smoke two joints at night I smoke two joints in the afternoon It makes me feel alright I smoke two joints in times of peace And two in times of war I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints and then I smoke two more.
xxxInsanexxx 9
This is a problem because you ARE stoned a lot, right?
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Comments (133)
tbonea1990 0
that's not all bad but when u r high say its the lump on your eye
gnarkill313 0
perfect excuse to actually get stoned i have severe rag weed allergy my eyes get devil red so o just smoke up
ttylmomma 0
Thats weird cause I have a bump
charliecharmande_fml 0
well now you can get high and walk around with out anyone noticing.
angel55033 12
see a dermatologist or something I'm sure they can remove it
LilaBear 2
I'm sure they'd remove it if you specifically requested them to. My husband asked to have a harmless mole removed once because it was right where he shaved and was annoying to shave around and he kept nicking it. The GP was happy to cut it out for him then and there. If it's near your eye they might need to make more arrangements than just doing it right then and there, but I'm sure someone would do it for you.
maryrain 0
so get high all the time might as well feel good while you look retarded
refuse2lose 0
I always look high - cuz I am.
louiseyanna 0
you just complained about not having cancer? wow. fyl for being that stupid. and you can still get it cosmetically removed, you'll just have to pay for it.
killermoc3 2
dude I have the same thing:]