Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

Thanks mom

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

That's not my… name!

Today, my best friend sent me a postcard. She’s been calling me by my nickname for so long that she wrote the wrong name on it. FML

Unforgettable

Today, I realized that since I was in elementary school, my friends, my workmates, and even my family, all call me accidentally by someone else's name instead of my actual name. I'm 30 years-old. FML

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

Decoding

Today, I figured out my girlfriend's mother has various nicknames for me. My girlfriend and her family are from Poland and speak on the phone in their native tongue, but they don’t know I’ve been learning the language either. I heard her call me “idiot”, “loser”, “moron” and various other “nicknames” multiple times. FML