Health: Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 08:34 - Lebanon

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 871

You deserved it 5 655

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Same thing different taste

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 708

You deserved it 7 407

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 11 857

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 3 337

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 12 936

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 4 953

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 628

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 586

You deserved it 36 208

By angie24w - 07/08/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 192

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 988

You deserved it 5 042

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 867

You deserved it 2 763

perdix 29

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:00

F the life of the person that walked in on you and witnessed their own personal live version of "One Guy, One Cup."

Ranora 9

Wednesday 19 January 2011 16:09

Next time just take a dump, and take a spoon to fill your cup. Or wacth 2girls1cup, they will teach you how to fill a cup.

Comments

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:03

I have to ask.... did you get any on ya? yes, that's a FML, no, then that's good aim!!

swagerific227 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:29

and ur tellin us this why?

xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:50

just disgusting

MrCanoe 5

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:00

why didn't you just poop into the toilet and then just scooped a piece of poo out of the toilet with the cup?

islandz 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:14

"hi, oh what am I doing, oh I'm just taking a dump in a cup for some guys."

Mortanious 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 11:52

Here's a special reply for you my Lebanese friend: Shi Bikharre! ;)

babushkadoll 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 11:53

copy of a very similiar fml. you suck.

bls5301 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:57

the post was funny... the comment made my day.

JosiesPartyzHere 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 18:58

Wtf would you need a shit sample for? thats just plain disgusting seriously and next time dont forget to lock your door morons lol

jumping_duckie 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 19:14

HAHA this is hilarious

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I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 497

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I agree, your life sucks 16 018

You deserved it 38 521

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I agree, your life sucks 29 079

You deserved it 2 919

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I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 4 009

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You deserved it 4 630