Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Amkii 0
WHAT. That is terrible!!!! D: What if you're not ready for kids?! Jeez... she is crazy. Sorry about your pregnancy. Unless, that is, you're ready for kids now and wanted one.
Emma89_ 0
sorry, but your Mothers a nut job o.O
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
CallMeHush 1
Don't BC pill come in a container that you punch the pills thru the foil? Mother must work for the CIA or something.
gssage7 0
"I found out that my wife/girlfriend is pregnant. We use both the pill, and condoms. When confronted, she expected me to believe that her mother wants a grandmother now. FML"
blastvortex 4
Haha. That's terrible. What a cruel parent you must have. Still, it wouldn't have happened if you weren't screwing around. [shakes his head] You've gotten yourself into a fine mess, haven't you? Well, you know there are two obvious "solutions." Pick one or hope for an accident.
yeahreally 6
o___O that is soo messed up that sucks.
molacolacake 0
Congratulations on your awesome memory! I have to set an alarm on my phone so I remember.
xdyingxwishx 0
I would want to kill my mother if she did this. If she wants a grandchild that's just too damn bad, its your life not hers. I would get an abortion.
Madlivi 0
You all really think this is true? How do you "replace" BC pills? Talk about wanting attention - this FML is bullsh!t.
thekingjoe90 0
i'd tell here to **** off...
themixedt4pe 0
If you decide to keep the baby, please keep your kid away from your psycho mother. Move away ASAP if you can. Not only would it get her back/serve her right, but she ruined your life by forcing you to become a mother (unless you decide to get an abortion or put it up for adoption). Don't let her ruin your innocent child's life by being a crazy grandbitch. Personally, if I were you and didn't want children, I would have a closed adoption. Give the baby to someone I knew and trusted to love my baby, and then not tell my mother who "her" grandchild's new parents are.
AmbrosiaFan 19
How did you not notice the pills were swapped? In the US they are in blister packs.