Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
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Top comments
Amkii 0
WHAT. That is terrible!!!! D: What if you're not ready for kids?! Jeez... she is crazy. Sorry about your pregnancy. Unless, that is, you're ready for kids now and wanted one.
Emma89_ 0
sorry, but your Mothers a nut job o.O
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Comments (73)
MamaC_fml 0
Screw ethics. There are several ways to make ensure that she doesn't see "grandmother status" anytime soon that will result giving this kid a chance at life: *Give the kid up for adoption. Hell, if OP really wants to piss off her mom, make arrangements for it to be an open adoption, visit the child often, but refuse to inform mom/wannabe grandma of child's whereabouts or what's going on in his/her life. *Cut wannabe grandma out of her life, and thus the kid's life as well. Move away without leaving the new address, and seek support from the community she moves to. Many states' "grandparents' rights" laws would not support her mother in this situation, especially if OP gets on legal record that wannabe grandma tampered with her medicine.
Sir_Sebastien 0
FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! If the condoms did have holes in, then it would have been noticeable considering semen would leak into her ****** (and eventually back out again) and they definitely would have noticed that. This sounds so much like the situation from the UK TV show Footballer's Wives. FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!
alyze 0
Not necessarily. Semen would leak out of the condom, yes, but not enough would leak out to where it would actually leak out of the ******. Remember, it only takes one cell to impregnate. It also means that her mother might have been doing this for a while.
reecescuphoe 0
if my mom did that...lets just say it wont end well...
Allice_D 0
if u have sex with a pierced condom, it will rip appart in seconds ....
DualMindedOne 0
Thats Pretty awful. Also, My Fiance take Birth Control, and not all of them come in the one a day dispensers, there are some that come in a regular bottle, like the kind you'd get from a CVS Pharmacy. Abort it, plain and simple, unless you want it, but if you're ready for kids, its understandable.
Tossup 0
Wow I never thought I'd actually hear real people say "abort it because you don't want it." I thought that was a fake thing pro-lifers said that pro-choicers say because it makes them look like heartless assholes. But apparently it's a common excuse. I'm leaning more pro-life every day. But this one isn't hard to believe. Every pharmacist will tell you that b.c. is not 100% effective and neither are condoms because of unreliability. So even if the mom wasn't doing all that pregnancy is still possible, albeit unlikely.
mj2123 0
You really think being tricked into getting pregnant is a good reason to have a child? She took every necessary precaution and was sabotaged. You have no idea what her life is like - and what her health is like - and what kind of mental, emotional, or physical problems a pregnancy could cause. Abortion isn't birth control, but no one should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term when she doesn't think she can or should be a mother, was taking appropriate precautions not to become pregnant, and was sabotaged by someone she should have been able to trust.
Callyn 47
Aborting an unwanted pregnancy is perfectly valid. Even assuming a fetus was a person and had rights (it's not and it doesn't), no human being has the right to use another human beings body without permission. I'm sorry that you think that asserting your right to bodily integrity is heartless, I hope you never get into a situation where you have to but it is a vital and necessary right which we humans have and must protect.
i_luv_cheese 0
sounds fake
ArmyOfSeahorses 0
Your mother sounds like she might have Borderline Personality Disorder. Seriously. Do some research--it could make the rest of your life so much easier.
murdock129 0
I really hope my girlfriend's mother doesn't read this, because she will get ideas and copy this -long worreid sigh-
bwgmacattack 0
Okay, so when I first read this I was like..... ..... ..... ..... Holy shit! It started of fun-- "I found out I was going to be a mother!" I thought that was cool. Me, personally... I want to have a kids. I REALLY do. So this was kind of neat, but then: "my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died!" THAT is kid of messed up, really.... And you should actually sue your mother for being a disrespectful person. That is in full right of evading personal space and possibly ruining someone-- Your-- life. I personally wrote this tag line down in my book. I am going to make a short out of this, it is that intense of a situation to not do a short.