Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
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Top comments
Amkii 0
WHAT. That is terrible!!!! D: What if you're not ready for kids?! Jeez... she is crazy. Sorry about your pregnancy. Unless, that is, you're ready for kids now and wanted one.
Emma89_ 0
sorry, but your Mothers a nut job o.O
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Comments (73)
bored690 0
Make her pay for your kids stuff and for you not being able to work!!! What a psycho b*tch!!!
FunkyVerb 0
Fake. She would have noticed if someone had swapped her pills.
utopi3103 0
lol @ #73
Zazu7711 0
YDI *****
alyze 0
So do you! :)
PhillyFox 0
Wow. Your mom is a ******* psycho. If you do decide to keep the baby, I don't think I'd ever let her see your kid. If she's that crazy to do that to her own daughter, who knows what she could do to your child.
XantesFire 0
Just get an abortion, it'll solve so many problems and it'll show your mom you won't be manipulated.
myfriend_youfail 3
......Wow. Your mother is more psychotic than mine, if that's even possible. If you carry to term and give birth, make your mother the babysitter. Free of charge, whenever you want, for as long as you want. She wants a grandchild, then she gets to take care of the little brat when you're too tired.
turdburgers 0
exactly. Day's already marked on each one.
alyze 0
Holy shit. If my mother or any of my family members ever did that, they would be completely disowned. After I inform them that I'm carrying the child to term and then giving it up for a closed adoption. Because I have no intentions of ever having children.
VereorTenebrae 0
Give it away...