Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
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Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my son no longer tries to sneak in and out of the house at inappropriate times. Now, he just brazenly walks out, ignoring me when I ask where he’s going, then walks back in at like 4 in the morning, and again ignores me because he’s still on his phone to someone. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML
Today, I found out that my son (17) lied about not being able to get the time off from his job for our family vacation and has been partying and screwing his girlfriend while we're thousands of miles away. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML
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Top comments
MishMashMosh 20
He should be the one posting here hahaha. You should tell him that it's okay then.
wesisthe1 11
they don't grow up as fast as you want em to
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Comments (19)
TumblrweedPasses 11
Old habits die hard haha
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Better than if he did that when he was a 13yo without a job or car...
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Maybe he feels like you’re holding him back. Have you ever been mean or unpleasant towards his girlfriend?
raven_of_azarath 35
I’m 22 with a job and my own car, and I sometimes sneak out for late night fast food. But I do that cuz my mom will lecture me about how I eat to much and I’m too fat and such (when it’s not true), and I’m not into receiving that degrading criticism.
onceuponatime456 16
Perhaps old habits die hard???
anniemeece 23
This is legitimately one of the funniest FMLs I've read.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
you should point that out to him
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm late to the party on this, but speaking from experience, I'm gonna guess that you were one of those overbearing parents who took issue every time your son wanted to go hang out with friends, and the mentality of sneaking out to have fun still stuck with him into early adulthood because he's [was] still negatively affected by your overbearingness.