Kids: Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her...

By DarkChild - 11/02/2016 22:18 - France

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 443

You deserved it 1 626

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Same thing different taste

By pleasestop - 01/05/2014 02:13 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 693

By Upset - 10/06/2013 23:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 055

You deserved it 4 230

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 5 391

By SADlilAZN - 17/02/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I made a couple of videos of me playing guitar and singing some of my favorite songs. I got back from school to find my family huddled around the camcorder, laughing, imitating, and making jokes about the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 8 622

Stop that now

By Soo - 24/12/2020 08:04 - Spain - Archidona

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 266

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 004

By Gore - 18/06/2019 21:13 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was going to record a song I wrote for my dad, who I haven't spoke to in a couple of years. After getting things together, I called my mom to let her know I'd be doing this. She informed me he died. A year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 456

By red button - 11/02/2009 19:24 - United States

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 659

You deserved it 43 741

Mortifying

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 00:00 - United States - San Ramon

Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 177

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 693

You deserved it 640

J352SAURUS 30

Monday 29 January 2018 8:19

Someone turn on the light. I can't see with all this darkness.

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J352SAURUS 30

Monday 29 January 2018 8:19

Someone turn on the light. I can't see with all this darkness.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 3 951

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 2 850

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 127

You deserved it 5 568

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 852

You deserved it 3 786

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 154

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 665

You deserved it 2 893

Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 129

Same thing different taste

Home improvement

Stop that now

Mortifying

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