Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my weightlifter husband is pouting because he is no longer able to lift the amounts he could a year ago. Meanwhile, our weightlifter son is fast approaching the weights my husband used to lift, and is being smug about it. It’s like living with two bears determined to be grumpy at each other. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my brother. They're both over 6 foot, and big. They glared at each other like they were about to start a fight, then out of nowhere shook hands, hugged while laughing like lunatics, and have been besties all afternoon. Why are gym bros such weird idiots? FML
Today, not only is my son a bully, but he's dumb enough to bully a kid whose parents both do martial arts. His mom is a cage fighter and his step-dad is a kickboxer. They're both huge, terrifying, and pissed off. FML
Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Today, and for the past year, my boyfriend keeps wanting to arm-wrestle with me. I’m rather petite and I don’t exercise a lot, yet I’m still waiting for him to win, just even once. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pink_Turnips 14
as a fellow soldier and martial artist.... it'll never stop, let them bond in their own way no matter how childish it may seem to you
Thaylok 17
My daughter sighs a heavy sigh of resignation that her Fiancé is just like her father (me). Take it as a compliment that they have commonality and get along.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
Pink_Turnips 14
as a fellow soldier and martial artist.... it'll never stop, let them bond in their own way no matter how childish it may seem to you
RichardPencil 32
I'll put my money on your dad. Boxing is better than MMA, plus he's plenty bitter that your bf is boning his little girl. Switch your bf's steroids with sedatives.
Thaylok 17
My daughter sighs a heavy sigh of resignation that her Fiancé is just like her father (me). Take it as a compliment that they have commonality and get along.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
I mean, they probably know how to fight relatively safely, and both enjoy the sport. Tbh, why not just let it happen? It's probably how they're bonding - so probably a good thing!
bobsanction 18
Put them in the gym together and let them sort it out.
idragosani 17
Let them have their fun! At least they seem to like each other and get along in a weird testosterone-driven way
Jonkbaby 23
Do you even lift bro!!!