Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
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Top comments
ejejeje 0
good.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Turns out the wind doesn't like smoking either
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Comments (161)
nswan 5
crack kills.
skinollie 0
what are you 12? put a shirt on fag haha
Snackbars 0
Smoking hasn't found a reason to quit you, bitch.
hockeyrocks39 0
Yeah!!!! the almighty cigarette will be the last one standing, after drowning in your own body fluid that fills your lungs from a more than hideous losing battle with lung cancer! SMOKE-EM' UP!
AssassinzCreed 0
Snarky much?
DocBastard 40
Finally found a reason? FINALLY? What took you so long? Still didn't believe all that nonsense about lung cancer, heart attacks, strokes, peripheral vascular disease, emphysema, and chronic bronchitis? Or did you just enjoy your mouth smelling and tasting like an ashtray? Good luck with that whole quitting thing, idiot.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Yea really. Somebody obviously wasn't looking to hard, were they...
a_cassie 4
or in simpler words, smoking is icky! :)
gutzz 0
It took op so long because there hasn't been a windy enough day until now. they can't control the weather you know!! what do you expect...
PSQ91 6
Yeah, because to stop smoking is so easy...
rightsaidred 3
I actually found having parents who smoke to make it really easy NOT to start up. They have horrible teeth, smell awful, cough up pieces of lung, and look at least a decade older than they are. I wasn't about to say "Sign me up for that!" after what I grew up with.
DocBastard 40
Reira, please divulge your sources. I'd love to know how eating fast food is worse than smoking. Last I checked, eating McDonald's doesn't cause several types of cancer. And I don't see anyone with their lips firmly attached to a tailpipe breathing in all those car fumes, unlike smokers sucking all those carcinogens directly into their lungs, you twit. Get over myself? **** you. I'm trying to be a public health advocate here.
Grimmerie 31
Doc, I wish my gp was like you. She likes to prescribe me medication that causes me to black out. And seriously? Fast food is worse than smoking? The next time fast food causes one of my parents to die of lung and throat cancer, I'll let you know, kay?
MyNameIsBruce 0
My thoughts exactly. I've lost two close family members in the last year because of smoking, and never, ever, ever have I known any one die from mcdonalds overdose
TheDrifter 24
I think she was going for the fast food=obesity=all obesity related diseases link. I'm pretty sure that very few smokers ever thought that sucking on a lit stick was going to be good for them.
Wiggy_78 0
To those saying that it's hard to quit smoking, if you really want to quit you would. I was a smoker for over 16 years and developed asthma because of it, so I had to quit because my health is more important. I also quit cold turkey, so it is possible and you can do it if you really want to.
Mimiroxxi 0
lmao I luv Docs comments. 56, how is McDonalds worst? do you actually believe that smoking is safer....? obviously..
leeshxx 3
56 my dad had a stroke last year because of smoking. he's only 38. my uncle has throat cancer my great aunty has lung cancer. all smoking related. when a ******* big mac kills people then make that argument shit head.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Smoking is a pain in the ass.
kitty_kat1109 0
lol. It sure is(:
XxdarkangelxX13 0
lol :P yup
sarabraun8 7
nice
joshswensoon15 0
you fool
Sprocket 5
I wouldn't care if you smoked, except you tried to litter. Seriously. If you have the money to invest in those cancer causers, at least do us a favor and buy an ash tray. You wouldn't want to see some hairy plumber's butt, so pretend that is what cigs are.
notquite69 0
I can't stand smokers who throw their cigs out the window? Why? The only reason I've ever been given is that they stink in the car. Guess what - your car, your clothes, and YOU already stink. The rest of us can smell you a mile away and we can smell you long after you leave. Stop being an idiot and leaving your trash around for all to see. ******' morons.
xJordieeBearhhx 0
you need to chill, if someone wants to smoke, well it's not your business, there's nothing wrong with smoking.
illmatic2 16
Did you seriously say that there is nothing wrong with smoking? How ******* stupid can you get?
caitibug323 0
40 - you are an idiot. Not just because you said that there is nothing wrong with smoking.. but also because you completely missed the point. Littering is disgusting, smoking is disgusting, throwing lit cigarettes out the window is disgusting. If you don't care about killing yourself slowly, at least keep the environment clean from your nasty habit. Not to mention you could start a fire.
hollylollyxoxo 0
I couldn't have said it better myself! and jordie.. you're an idiot
Fuckin_Panda 0
your pants were down so low that it was able to get into your pants and not bounce off? jeezus.
kylerustler58 0
pants on the ground! pants on the ground! lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground! walkin' downtown with your hat turned sideways lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!
sivuplay 0
i cant help but wonder how you were sitting and what kind of pants you were wearing for this to be remotely possible.
Glenn_Coco 0
I'm wondering the sane thing. Lol.
Glenn_Coco 0
same*