Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
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Top comments
ejejeje 0
good.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Turns out the wind doesn't like smoking either
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Comments (161)
MaskingTape 2
wish it went in your gas tank instead of your crack, that's what you get for littering. but you got burned either way, so good for you. YDI.
k9obsessed 5
Hey everyoneluvsboners, stfu. Are you stupid?? YES, it WILL start fires, dumbass. That's what happens when a flame or even an ember hits gasoline, which is insanely flammable. Gasoline is flammable enough that even a spark could light it off. Don't come here and try to be a smug little smartass when you clearly don't know what you're talking about. I hope someone pours gas over you and lights a cig next to your face. Then we'll see if it's true or not. Learn that just because something is seen in movies doesn't automatically mean it can't happen in real life.
DocBastard 40
K9obsessed, sorry but Boners is right. The Mythbusters tested this (I freaking love that show), and it's next-to impossible. Directly from their website: "A cigarette has the potential to light a pool of gasoline but just doesn’t have enough sustained heat. Gas ignites between 500 °F and 540 °F, the cigarette at its hottest was between 450 °F and 500 °F but only when it was actually being smoked. An ignition is very improbable." So do your homework before calling someone else stupid. Stupid.
Grimmerie 31
Ooh, ooh, I want smelly breath, rotting teeth and lung cancer too! Thank you so much for your sagely wisdom, O smoking guru.
sincerely331 0
Why is it that when yu attack a smoker & tell them to stop they always point the finger on others who are doing bad things as well instead of just admitting they need to stop smoking.
LukeNukem_fml 3
maybe cuz they don't want to. also, the ****'re you talking about? I don't go round blaming Bin Laden just because someone would "attack" me for smoking.
fmlwinnn 0
39- the idiot thing is that you KNOW, but decide to do it anyway.
Dolly_109 0
dude ^ harsh. he can do whatever the hell he wants, and no one had the right to say that- not even you- so, have a little respect, and think before you speak.
Mercedeh910 0
well then I feel sorry for you for being such a weak soul
k9obsessed 5
YDI, asshole. Next time at least have the courtesy to put it out before you toss it aside. You're lucky it didn't hit something flammable. Don't come on here and bitch when you should know better. I pray for your sake you don't do something that stupid again.
illmatic2 16
He's obviously trolling.
lalalalalalalala_fml 0
haha 86! Nice!
ThatLooksSticky 16
I would very much like to see an animated version of this FML.