Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
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Top comments
ejejeje 0
good.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Turns out the wind doesn't like smoking either
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Comments (161)
Cathos 3
...... how did it get into your pants??? do you wear clown pants???
Negrodamus666 0
you shouldn't have thrown you butt out the window... dick!
nation92 2
that's karma for littering
hollylollyxoxo 0
yes smoking is bad.. but what were you thinking, throwing your cigg out the window?! it's one thing to screw with your own body, but don't screw up the rest of ours by throwing your trash out the window! people like you piss me off
rattusrattus 19
Stub it in the ashtray, then bin. YDI. However, good luck on the whole quitting thing.
docscientist 10
**** you for trying to throw a still burning cigarette out the window.
LukeNukem_fml 3
HAHA! unlucky man.
purple_sarah88 0
Wow you have a "relationship" with "tabacco"? Sound like that's the only relationship in your life saddo...
jester613 2
Perhaps you shouldn't throw your still lit cigarette butts outside to start fires or be litter you dirty bastard.
rubenp5 0
haha