Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I...

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 042

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 788

You deserved it 6 263

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 433

You deserved it 503

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 845

You deserved it 56 770

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 3 148

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 393

You deserved it 9 207

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 544

You deserved it 56 383

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 276

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 423

You deserved it 45 860

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 573

You deserved it 3 076

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 481

You deserved it 64 432

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

power6053 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 11:04

Karma is only a bitch if you are.

aerogxt 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:04

Don't listen to these other eggheads. You deserved it. Karma is certainly a bitch. Tho I guess the old saying is true. It takes one to know one.

raff696 3

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:29

Haha your a stupid bitch. Life just shit on your plans! Grow up!

nicolai774 1

Wednesday 4 July 2012 4:36

Karma's only a bitch if you are.

diamondbaby16 4

Wednesday 4 July 2012 9:53

Haha . That's hilarious !

irishboy352 0

Thursday 5 July 2012 1:00

Karmas only a bitch if you are

SwtCherryPie 26

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:34

What are you, 12? Grow the **** up.

sugarbaby9908 20

Friday 6 July 2012 21:38

Did you break any?!

Alastrina_fml 20

Monday 9 July 2012 10:10

You totally deserved it. This proves that you're too immature to even be in a relationship in the first place.

myalleyway 9

Monday 9 July 2012 14:14

karma's only a bitch if you are

Keywords

Social Media Embarrassing Facebook Work Virginity Sex Intimacy Health Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Relatable Anxiety Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Cars Transportation Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 161

Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend’s other girlfriend is pregnant. He doesn’t know that I know. A few days ago he told me that he couldn't have a baby with anyone. She has to be the right one, I guess I wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 181

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job I really wanted, despite doing well on third round interviews (3 hours with 6 people), and having a good connection with the person I would've reported to. Now I'm upset and dropping the ball on emailing interviewers for the other good leads I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 188

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 3 071

Today, I've been waiting two months for eight eBay purchases to make it through my country's fucked up customs fiasco. I'm reduced to vicariously sharing in my husband's delivery of a litre of industrial vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 128

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 010

You deserved it 2 156

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 282

Same thing different taste

No yolk

Caught in 4K

The Blob

Top comments

Comments