Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
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Top comments
tjanes 16
Moving kinda fast, don't you think?
SonOfAMitch 14
What did it taste like? Hopefully something okay, as you don't want you to remember your first kiss as 'dog butt and dirt'.
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Comments (66)
Rianokami 22
Ew. Doesn't count!
JMichael 25
You were supposed to sniff his/her butt first.
molliciousj 19
That's okay OP, my first kiss was really slobbery too....eh....
mad_hatter0666 22
Pretty sure that didn't count.
psycheiris13 20
I know how you feel, I can't say I particularly like it when my dog licks my face. But dogs are man's best friend after all :) Don't worry, I'm sure your real first kiss will be great.
highjesus 6
how can it put its tongue in your mouth without you waking up ?? FYL
enlargedcoccyx 1
No you're doing it all wrong!!!
sugar94_fml 17
Well. At least you know your next one is going to be an improvement
jh921971 10
Sounds like you're still young. Give it time and the real one WILL happen.
shine999 12
So did that turned you on??