Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
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Top comments
tjanes 16
Moving kinda fast, don't you think?
SonOfAMitch 14
What did it taste like? Hopefully something okay, as you don't want you to remember your first kiss as 'dog butt and dirt'.
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Comments (66)
weveallbeenthere 30
awww, I hope you enjoyed it. good luck in the future.
Nilorak 24
Don't you mean "good lick"?
Nilorak 24
Aww, someone's got a crush on you.
ThomasBombadil 31
That's a real bitch OP.
b00kn3rd 14
Nope. To make your life more scarred I'd have to guess your first kiss was with a parental figure. More than likely your mom.
laden_swallow09 34
Why would that scar him? Or anybody, for that matter!
b00kn3rd 14
Well, actually a lot of my students whine about how "icky" it is to think of their mom kissing them. As a mom I'm biased on the other side, but I suppose my city just has a bunch of whiners then.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
I'm sure the right person will come along for you to kiss OP, maybe it will be enjoyable this time
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Awww, you're lucky, it happened with one of your best friends.
UhItsHavoc 6
Life is a humorous little bitch 'aint it? ;)
edward80 18
The burning question is : did you like it ?
worldclassrager 39
Don't give up you'll get a real one
buckdharma 37
Could've been worse. Could've been a French Poodle.