Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML
Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML
Today, I attended my girlfriend's mother's wake. When I walked up the three-step platform the casket was on, I tripped, fell over the edge of the casket, and head-butted her mother's corpse. The adhesive holding one of her eyes came undone. FML
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Top comments
Tikal_fml 0
Oh my god, ha-ha, thank you! I hope you took pictures, because that would've been the ultimate "FAIL" picture of the internet :D
kitz 0
HAHAHAHA! Dude that made me laugh hard, thanks ^ ^
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Comments (57)
Aediono 2
She was crying because the cat was alive. You were just that drunk.
ChickInGreenVans 12
That is just plain sick!!
jlarae12 10
This is epic :D best drunk story EVER.
worldclassrager 41
Well you tried...next time you are better off not doing it drunk...
cryssycakesx3 23
I watched my cat flop around for a few minutes until she dies after getting hit by a car. doing that to your girlfriend isn't funny at all and I can't believe how many people think it is. being drunk isn't an excuse. the fact that you did something that was a hurtful, serious situation for her while drunk makes you a bigger cuntcake OP. FHL.
BiNeko 12
Where is the awesome button when you need it?
zykrithium 22
Don't drink and bury
Sencilia101 31
I'm sorry, I'm horrible but i couldn't help but laugh.