Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML
Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
For those of you who think the mother was "wrong" to do that: It's her money. She has no obligation to pay, and if I found out that this lousy behavior and irresponsibility was happening on my funds, you bet he'd get no more funding. Totally deserved.
Kisharu 0
Wow. That's GOTTA suck. But, that's what happens when you use weed.
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Comments (100)
Seegtease 0
For those of you who think the mother was "wrong" to do that: It's her money. She has no obligation to pay, and if I found out that this lousy behavior and irresponsibility was happening on my funds, you bet he'd get no more funding. Totally deserved.
CeeCee_fml 16
#24: College is the time to get a better education. Yeah, you can have fun but that is not its main purpose. Also, where's the logic in paying a lot of money just for your kid to basically bullshit their way through? I can guess that the reason why the mother won't pay for the college anymore is because she isn't paying all that money for her child to get pissy drunk and think that the KGB is coming after them. If you want college to be a party then pay for it your own damn self, which apparently he/she will do. This story is hilarious though. I'm surprised your mother didn't just laugh at you. There got to be other things that lead up to this...are your grades any good? Do you do this often? If not then we can say that she overreacted. If yes, well, better start collecting cans :P
mariasaur 0
LOL smooth move. Time for you to pull out your savings. Oh wait, you probably blew it all on beer and drugs. Good luck.
mikeyellenlee 0
How drunk and or high would you have to be to believe that your relevant to the KGB? Are you sure you weren't smoking crack and drinking cleaning products?
MissMucci 0
My dad drunk dialed me last night and said almost the same thing. FML
perstephane 4
Sorry, don't sympathize. I was an A & B student who never got in trouble in my life, and I still had to pay my own way through college and law school, sometimes working three jobs between/after classes. Be happy your parents had enough money to pay for your school for as long as they did, and go get a job.
Aviva1313 0
I aggree with #56, also, why the KGB? Not the CIA?
bongo200 1
Wow....
badbooze 0
priceless! now that I'm done with college, I occasionally drunk dial my parents. Luckily, my parents think it's hilarious because I have a career and all that and it's just me acting on random douchebaggery
RT_fml 0
weed isn't that expensive sooo most of you people are retarded