Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
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Top comments
techweed 12
he sounds awesome and likable, also he sounds over 13, so you should have left him at home he's old enough
Naitras 15
well that was dumb... should have left him home
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Comments (81)
marinus_fml 20
Hit the gym fatty. You do realize you will receive no sympathy here right?
OCDC 9
We can't all be shaped like a uterus.
Ruff_fml 3
I can not un see it!
azhigatex 0
^^WIN!!!!
lidemocr 0
oh snap!
Sports_guy3 28
#15- some Will be received.
lilxsexii 4
Maybe he's telling the truth! And if your fat, work out?
jess6blondie9 3
Maybe she likes the way she is? How come just because someone is fat, people's response is always "work out." No? They're fine just the way they are, and shouldn't have to change that just because they're son said something embarrassing in front of someone. My gosh.
jess6blondie9 3
Their son** Oops. -.-
persianjr1 7
I think I love you. lol
jess6blondie9 3
Haha ;)
wisericky 12
parents need to beat their kids more. kids are ment to be seen, not heard.
LMAOchic 0
Oh yeah....I bet you've had the FBI on your ass before you douche bag. Kids are meant to be heard, just like black ppl and gay ppl. I mean really...
TheDustyShaft 0
Clearly if you look at his pic you can see the FBI agents prints.
xDancer101x 0
#19 JERK ASS!!!
takemewithy0u 0
Kids are just honest, not much you can do about that!
AEverydayDouche 1
Lying about her being pregnant isn't that honest is it?
sweetiffany 0
At least you did the responsible thing and called the babysitter... Oh wait, you didn't.
nanner6206 24
how do you have privileged information the rest of us don't?
DalPozzo13 10
Couldve just played along
AEverydayDouche 1
I totally agree, getting fatter and fatter for nine month and then finally have a liposuction, using her fake maternity leave to heal after the surgery. Everything just works out fine.
OCDC 9
Then she can just find a random newborn baby she can pass off as her own. NBD
myagirl 0
#28 your hott!!;)
Megan98 18
Then take a maternity leave( I think that's what it's called)...
SisyphereanTask 2
Since when are kids invited to office parties? YDI for being inconsiderate and bringing your kid. NB: if kids were invited to the party I retract my previous statement.
Bluepies 24
Not only does your kid resent you for dragging him to something he didn't wanna go to, your co-workers resent you for bringing a kid to a work party. I honestly wonder what parents really think would happen if they left their kid home alone. What horrible thing do they think their kid would do? They'd probably just watch TV, play video games, and enjoy a rare moment of independence. Do your kid, your co-workers, and yourself a favor and leave the kid home next time.
penguinazul 13
Depending on how old the child is, if an emergency were to happen, would the child be able to handle situation? That's typically why parents don't like to leave kids home alone.
jblovee02 0
I'd kill that kid
QWERTYCommander 5
You deserved it. Do you know how humiliating it is to know that your mom can't trust you being home alone? I would understand if he was under 10 or if your area has a high crime rate (In which case: 1. Hire a sitter. 2. Take extra security measures.), but I don't see any other reason for him to not be home alone.