Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
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Top comments
techweed 12
he sounds awesome and likable, also he sounds over 13, so you should have left him at home he's old enough
Naitras 15
well that was dumb... should have left him home
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Comments (81)
rockscheer101 0
so are you pregnant or not?
Darkblade21 20
if you're fat enough to look pregnant then you have bigger things to worry about. Hehe, I said bigger.
Ninabug28 5
1 word: Babysittier
nanner6206 24
Not everyone has access to one at all times.
superflyman 0
that doesnt mean they should have to go too work parties
xDancer101x 0
yea, I mean if u think the kid won't behave at home or something would happen to him, just imagine him at a boring work party
ChangMu 8
YDI for not getting a babysitter.
Sports_guy3 28
1) how old is your son? 2) Try Weight Watchers, a diet, something. You can't be that fat.. Unless you ARE pregnant...
sabrinalynn22 19
If that were my son I would have slapped him
Cathrin 26
For everyone saying "Get a Babysitter!", what if she can't afford it? Just because she has a job doesn't mean it pays well enough for her to do that. We also don't know how old her son is, so we can't assume he can be alone by himself. Nor do we know about the father's situation; he could have a similarly low paying job, and that's assuming he's even there; she could be a single mom. She may not have had any choice but to bring her son if she wanted to make sure he was OK.
AmbrosiaFan 19
So how old was he, and why didn't you either get a babysitter or just not go if he isn't old enough to be home alone?