Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
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Top comments
techweed 12
he sounds awesome and likable, also he sounds over 13, so you should have left him at home he's old enough
Naitras 15
well that was dumb... should have left him home
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Comments (81)
ulicksam 0
Leave him home alone, get a sitter, or stay home with him. Taking him to a work party is NOT an option, dumbass. He didn't want to be there and your coworkers didn't want him there, which makes you a self-centered dick.
lostfaithinpppl 19
This. YDI OP.
EVELYNandDIEGO 0
he is an ass, how old is he ? what a jerk
EVELYNandDIEGO 0
but I think you did deserve itcause who takes their kids to a party ? that don't like that
needsagf14 12
lose some weight
kkutting 2
guess your kid isn't expecting a sibling any time soon haha
FuzzyTheAwsome 1
ouch that's gotta suck
hiyouaregreat 0
:p
lilypotter56 12
right, because no kid should ever have to do anything they don't feel like doing :P
MrBrightsidexvi 6
smart kid, maybe next time you won't "drag" him anywhere with you
fragilestate28 0
YDI, stop dragging your kid to events you know he doesn't want to go to. Babysitters exist.
nature_girl_08 14
here's a thought: if it's not mandatory, stay the hell home and take care of your kid instead of dragging him to a work party. i doubt he would have been very happy there