Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
heyu7421 0
No that disgusting and you need to bomb ur house n spray ur mattress. You will end up being the reason your community has a rediculous out break. Thats like having hiv and not telling your partner
Barbie6914 0
That's so gross how do you get those to begin with.. Yu don't wash the sheets much
Corvus_fml 0
I actually know a toxic free remedy for your problem - bedbugs are very sensitive to cold - so if you wrap up your mattress in nylon and place it in a cold place for a day or two - like outside on snow, or a big freezer they will drop dead in temperatures under -3C never to bother you again. Just be careful to keep the mattress dry and clean. Afterwards you simply vacuum the mattress, wash all your sheets and your problem is solved. However, you may have to follow the same procedure with carpet, look for black dots on wooden frame (they actually live and lay eggs in wood!) sandpaper them out and apply a coating of oil based varnish on the sanded areas of bed and/or floor. I had a hostel and that's how I got rid of them every time I had an infested backpacker, but keep in mind that you WILL have to clean up the entire house throughly, bed bugs are very persistent. Also, your blankets, pillow... everything to do with your bed needs to be frozen for a while (blankets sheets and pillows are easy, you can stuff them in your home freezer for a day, wrapped up in nylon). It is a day's work you have ahead of you, but it beats dangerous toxins in your bed that you would be breathing in for weeks afterwards and may even not help. And NEVER scratch the bites they'll only itch more.
metalguy95 11
if you want to get at where the bugs are specifically, try getting a beagle to find them then spray the areas. some beagles are trained to find them
sq21v 0
heat kills them... wash all of your clothes throughly clean everything wash any and all cloth items... get your carpet and mattress steam cleaned if possible usually 80 bucks... better then paying for a new mattress... then turn up the heat for a couple hours as high as you can... don't visit anyone or let anyone visit you... they travel on any cloth... sleeping on your couch won't help you will only worsen the problem... if you live in an apartment try to get your landlord to pay for a treatment. There is no need to replace your mattress. ;)
justmeagirl 0
Depending on your city, you may be able to apply for assistance getting a new mattress- they don't want them spreading!
cera1756 0
Get a conair streamer from target for $30 n stream ur mattress. It will kill the bugs
opps89 0
Buy a bug bomb from a store. My parents used that when they got them. You cant be in the house while your using it though. My parents put the animals outside(they live on a farm) and set it off right before they left for work in the morning and it was good as new that night.
shadowgurl26 0
cover it in plastic. duh
katertott2013 3
buy a bug bomb and put it on your bed