Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
We all scream like little girls at some point or another in our lifetimes. The real question is, did anyone hear you? Did the police come to investigate because they got calls from neighbors fearing a girl was being raped? That would truly be an FML. Oh, wait. Just playing. Spiders are scary, eh?
Katzilla_dances 0
Hehe, peeing when you're scared is a natural instinct, animals do it so they weigh less and can run a 'little' faster.
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Comments (141)
Glam_fml 0
OMG 23, I had one of those in my house before! I thought it was some mutant cross between a daddy long legs and a catapillar. It was climbing up the wall and it FELL ON ME! It was like 3 AM, and I've never screamed so much in my life! Now that's an insect worth peeing over.
xHaniffax 0
What's sadder? the fact that you're "truly terrified" of a spider or that you scream like a girl and peed in your pants?
Phillay632 0
Well, you probably screamed like a girl due to your lack of a set of balls. Man up, you pansy.
threer 30
He can be however ******* "feminine" or "masculine" he wants. People are individuals, not genders.
clumsydancer 0
Haha! Wow... That's okay, I practically faint when I see spiders... Don't feel bad.
littlemisslee 0
I have severe arachnaphobia. I totally understand.
imfromtexas02 0
wtf, they changed it. i submitted this: Today, after I had undressed and was about to step in the shower, I discovered an enormous, hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. I'm a 26 year old guy. FML. i wonder why they modified that. maybe it was offensive to mention that i was naked. or something.
ohhsnapp 0
^^^^ lmao. i probably woulda screamed too, but im a girl and thats not as bad. faillllll.
cattoe7 0
well spiders are the devil
jncwmnd 0
lol #10 made me laugh just with that first sentence...oh i love big brave guys
Ughsucks 0
Fake....