Drunk and Work: Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 05:34

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 333

You deserved it 3 982

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2013 00:26 - Iceland

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 433

You deserved it 15 596

By Sarri - 18/02/2014 02:13 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 5 407

By northernlass - 20/09/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 2 676

By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 6 685

By Anonymous - 04/03/2015 18:20 - United States

Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 3 050

By Emcee - 05/06/2009 10:48 - Philippines

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 633

You deserved it 6 168

RAWK N ROLL!!!

By stagedivefail - 19/08/2009 14:36 - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 865

You deserved it 59 684

Karaoke night

By helluvasinger - 12/11/2009 11:00 - South Africa

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 197

You deserved it 5 477

Rock n roll star

By MarsMayFall - 12/09/2016 09:56 - United States

Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 852

You deserved it 6 698

By bandfuckup - 13/03/2017 00:00

Today, my band was playing its first serious gig. I was in the middle of a solo when a drunk guy tackled me, causing me to crash into the drums, breaking them and my guitar, hitting our drummer, knocking him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 969

You deserved it 348

Welshite 39

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:38

I think he may of taken the knock-knock joke a tad too literally.

Exodiafinder687 58

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:48

I bet the audience though that was the best punchline of the night.

Comments

patrickalamo 47

Wednesday 21 January 2015 21:37

Take a boxing class then reload and try again.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 21 January 2015 21:41

You're a hit!

martin8337 35

Wednesday 21 January 2015 21:42

That's taking heckling to a whole new level.

mt631 18

Wednesday 21 January 2015 21:49

Just keep at it OP. One of my best friends does open-mic stand up and he's had some rough sets too. Hopefully they threw the guy out. Best of luck!

goodjoblol 25

Wednesday 21 January 2015 22:08

Jim Jefferies is that you?

ADCH_fml 7

Wednesday 21 January 2015 22:15

The FML moderators can suck my dick. I will question any FML post I choose to, and I will continue to do so as long as I live in the United States of America. Thank you for understanding.

HotShot313 15

Wednesday 21 January 2015 23:03

Well at least he enjoyed.

Harold6858 9

Wednesday 21 January 2015 23:56

That's some knockout comedy

fml510605 16

Thursday 22 January 2015 0:03

I guess he didn't like your act.?

Eyalsh 32

Thursday 22 January 2015 3:34

Hey Buddy, i know something that could make you feel better, look up "jim jefferies", he is one of the best stand-up comedy performers today, wanna know how he got his publicity? he got punched in the head while doing a show. wanna know how he dealt with it? he showed the footage of him being punched in the head in the next show and made material out of it. good luck mate.