Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML
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Top comments
Jenny66_fml 0
Groping anyone in public = FAIL dude. Something like this happened to my daughter... she was humiliated and felt victimized for a very long time because some guy thought he was grabbing his wife. He's lucky he left before I found out what happened. Maybe you should try keeping your hands to yourself in public.
Jenny66_fml 0
A random guy groping her in a video store is no accident. She's also mildly autistic. he didn't hug her, or try to hold her hand or any other innocent gesture. He copped a feel in a family oriented place of business. What I teach my daughters is that they have a right to not be pawed by some jerk because their shirt might be the same color as the jerks wides shirt. Would you want your private parts grabbed by a stranger? wait... maybe you shouldn't answer that.
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Comments (44)
PeacefulWicked 0
Been there lol.
grrbeast 0
was she hot?
CireSisselpud 0
hahahahaha your wife wears motorcycle jackets
XxFA1LxX 4
but its okay, because you felt up someone.
Smalls627 5
Damn can't you tell the difference between your wife and that lady!! YDI
Vash879 0
more to the point, a biker chick that plays softball? you sure she's Batting for the right team?
momo1972 3
I use that excuse too. Was she hot?
skizz27 0
Wow..
amhort 4
So... Your wife is a biker chick who plays softball and loans her jacket to female friends... Hate to break it to you dude but you're married to a lesbian lol
desertpunk75 11
Was it a guy friend XD?