Love: Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I...

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 901

You deserved it 47 429

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Same thing different taste

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 888

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 39 632

By O0hdear - 27/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Humble

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 553

You deserved it 32 642

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 984

You deserved it 43 219

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 38 564

By cdestarac - 10/01/2012 06:07 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 163

You deserved it 37 794

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 968

You deserved it 31 237

Basic night out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 648

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 697

You deserved it 43 488

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 2 052

Pixxio_O 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:11

Awkward moment when he finds out it was his grandma.

ALlamaOnFire 20

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:09

Sigh, which relative was it? Time for the Winsest jokes

Comments

sean5 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 19:12

Nothing wrong with incest bro.

jwebster 8

Sunday 18 March 2012 19:21

You might be a redneck! Lmao. Enjoy Friday fish fry night.

ryanbeast 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 19:52

Drunk actions are sober thoughts

alfred07 18

Sunday 18 March 2012 20:03

I think your family member should be the one posting on fml

getneked 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 20:20

You know your redneck if you come home from the family reunion, with a date.

Skelebitch 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 20:23

Are you from the Duke family, ya know from Hazzard County, GA? And was your cuz named Daisy?

Rxoxdx 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 20:58

Wooooo incest!!

Stitch720 1

Sunday 18 March 2012 21:18

Keepin it in the family! Way to go

heavymetalman1 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 21:52

Kentucky hard at work...

DJLbackhand 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 22:03

Deep down u know u wanted to lol

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, after some cajoling, I finally posed naked for my long-term partner and his Polaroid camera. After saying he would cherish the intimate snapshots forever, he almost immediately forgot them on a crowded bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 522

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I missed an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work, I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 131

You deserved it 5 942

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 158

You deserved it 2 681

Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 2 031

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 509

You deserved it 6 557

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 775

You deserved it 1 792