Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
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Top comments
toby02050 0
how would you not know people were working on your roof?
mrhahn530 0
You need any more roof work done? I'll work for free ;-).
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Comments (192)
redmusketeer 1
haha well was he hott?????? ;)
earsybearsy 0
but honestly i agree with everyone that you were stupid for not knowing anyone was up there because roof work isnt exactly quiet and for you not to notice...wow...doesnt anyone in your familly talk to you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I_am_stupid_also 6
How is this an FML? You are an exhibitionist.
wowfmlife 0
Creeeepersss
raged_fml 0
they are just breastssss
I2OI3 0
Attention Moderators, there is a problem with my account - if you see this please let me know what's going on!
greeneye_fml 12
YDI, how do you not know there are people working on your roof?
zachman3334 0
And you're an ass, Turtleduck (39).
turtleduck 0
it's a joke. listen to daniel tosh.
ExpectationsFail 0
Really? That's sooooo like OMFG insane... I can't believe that happened to you! Oh, wait, yes I can, you're obviously an attention ***** who preys on innocent roof workers because no one else will give you the time of day. I don't believe for ONE second that you didn't know they were there... even Hellen Keller would have known and she was deaf and blind!