Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
toby02050 0
how would you not know people were working on your roof?
mrhahn530 0
You need any more roof work done? I'll work for free ;-).
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
piddly_03 0
im just saying.. you're ******* dumb if you didnt know there were people working on your roof! HOW could you not hear them! one would think you would be aware of everything around you if you were going to he half naked and didnt want people to see.
sumx07 0
omg chill guys.... its like a joke thing.. its supposed to be funny.. yeah people prob. do that, but chances are there just using this as a joke.. chill and just say its hot.. even if you are a girl like me ;)
Icalasari 0
Everybody, this is possible. ONE of FIVE workers watched her. So no break in the noise. She could have assumed that they were working on, say, the garage section. And she could have been looking AWAY from the house
liveitlearnit 0
I think basically any type of tanning is really stupid and vain. It's so bad for you and people overdo it. #129/tko- ftw usually means "for the win"
whensdinner 0
idc how many people said this: how the hell did you not hear them working on your roof?
aggieskate900 0
3 things. 1) If they watched the whole time you were tanning, then that means that you're hot, so that's some silver lining. 2) They'll never show up late for work again. 3) If you ever need the male equivalent of a "booty call," you've got five guys that are just ready and waiting. (plus, you already have their numbers, and after you're done, they can patch your roof for free)
dude277 0
1. Ok. If you had your face down while laying outside, then it doesn't matter. 2. If you had your face up, how did you not see the guys watching you up there?? Anyway, while you were out there, did you hear any heavy breathing from up there or any repeated movements? I have to ask.
quachie 0
maybe she didnt notice them because instead of hearing hammering she heard slapping
AB_Tuner 0
Hahaha, that's hilarious. I'm a roofer, and we make A LOT of noise, not to mention a decent amount of crap falls to the ground... How you didn't hear/see any of that going on is way beyond me! #137, you're just retarded!
heatherfeather 4
how the hell did you not remember or even NOTICE they were on your roof. and still... you can tan with a bikini on or go to a tanning bed... with a locking door... and nobody in there.