Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML
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Top comments
hotPinklipstick 24
I'm sure this is the epitome of FML. Sorry OP, at least you were trying to be responsible.
Harpy20 24
Screaming 'rape' usually stops all action.
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Comments (118)
lawls79 14
This exact thing happened to me on new years 2011
Quinn32 16
I can't help but wonder if you mean January 1, 2011 or December 31, 2011 but maybe I'm just crazy...yep I'm crazy.
Tidus0 17
It's just a legal thing. Due to the nature of having alcohol in systems the police will take all people involved back to the station where they will collect a statement from everyone and collect any footage from any surveillance cameras. The OP should have been fine if he was purely innocent.
Steve95401 49
This wasn't quite the ride that OP had in mind.
gracehi 33
Sweet! You got a ride for free!
ICastillo 25
A free ride to the slammer with the health inspector.
gracehi 33
A free doctor's exam too? Wow! With the rate at which health care costs are rising, OP sure is accruing a lot of awesome savings!
ICastillo 25
Nevermind if you haven't seen the Boondocks cartoon you won't get the joke.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Whenever I hear things like this, the only part that brings me any comfort is that drunken animals like the ones who attacked OP usually end up pissing off someone even more psychotic then they are sooner or later.
alwayswinning123 7
**** THE POLICE!
icadragoon 11
Looks like you should bring a DD whenever you go drinking.
frottiejoy 7
at least you tried to do the right thing
frottiejoy 7
at least you tried to do the right thing
poupoule24 2
Thanks for trying to do the right thing. Just this past weekend a kid who went to my school was walking on the side of the road and got hit by a drunk driver and was killed. You could've just saved a life.
SoylentCandycorn 10
That's pretty sad that a kid you know died because of some irresponsible asshole.